And today is when it clicked, it’s over and will never be again.
It’s all bullshit. Bc you had what you wanted and then you pushed it away. And now you keep asking for it
I haven’t cried today ☺️
The hardest part of this is knowing that he is the only possible human for me, yet knowing that we aren’t working right now. Like that shit right there is what hurts, that shit is the reason I cry, that shit is why I hate feelings. Loving him and then having the possibility that, even for a minute, he could fall in love with someone else just shatters my heart. I don’t really know why I’m writing maybe bc talking doesn’t help. The letters the words just seem to come easier in text. I just hate the position we are in. I need him. Saying I was okay before he came along is a lie. I wasn’t okay and now I’m not okay either. I’ve never been good with dealing with my feelings, so I just won’t. I’ll see where God leads me, hopefully its back to him.
P.S. This being friends shit sucks, bc I can’t tell him how much I absolutely adore and love him. I’ll get through it, hopefully.
Gosh, this shit ^ (what I wrote) is making me sick. I hope no one reads this. lol
Sometimes wishes aren’t enough .